When a Woman Feels Neglected in Her Marriage/Relationship...

Okay, so I'll just start by saying this. When anyone feels neglected in ANY situation for long periods of time, eventually they will go looking to fulfill that need. Now, the way in which they attempt to fulfill that need depends on various factors, but just know this can become a very alarming place in your marriage or relationship if it is left unnoticed for too long.

For the purpose of this post though, I'll be focusing on when a woman feels neglected in her relationship. Most importantly, the connection begins to fade. This can show up in a multitude of ways:

1. She may have difficulty trusting you because you don't keep her in the loop of what's going on in your life and/or decisions you're making, or you don't do the things you said you would do.

2. She may express her emotions by lashing out, crying often, complaining more frequently, giving you the silent treatment, saying disrespectful things towards you, etc.

3. She may speak negatively about herself because she may feel that she isn't good enough for you.

4. She may feel like she is the only one putting forth effort in your marriage/relationship.

5. She may stop arguing with you all together because she feels like she's exhausted everything she can do.

6. She may begin getting her needs met from another person outside of your marriage/relationship without your knowledge.

7. She may leave the marriage/relationship altogether.


These are just a few major tell-tale signs that your wife or girlfriend may be feeling neglected by you. Now, what can you do about it?

Communication is key of course so first, let your wife or girlfriend know that you've noticed some changes in your marriage and/or relationship that may be negatively impacting the intimacy between the two of you. Ask her when she is free to discuss the issue. This exhibits an awareness on your part that something is not quite right. This also shows that you're taking initiative to rectify the issues along with inviting her to share her thoughts and feelings. 

My clients have pretty much memorized this by now because I say it ALL the time and it's my acronym, L.U.V. that has proven to be extremely effective. First, you have to Listen to her thoughts and feelings without saying a word. Just try to process all that she is saying with no judgment. Second, try to Understand where she is coming from. This is a good time to ask clarifying questions so that you can truly grasp what is bothering her at her core. And lastly, Validate her feelings. It's understandable that the things that are bothering her may not impact you in the same way, but create a space for her to feel the way that she feels without diminishing her, encouraging her to feel insecure, and/or blaming her. 

You'd be amazed how a little LUV can go a long way when a woman is feeling neglected. Women have to FEEL that you care. Yes, you may provide for her financially, keep her out of harm's way, take care of the handiwork around the house, etc. These are all very important things as well. But when you neglect her in the ways mentioned above, this can translate to her that you don't value her.

If your marriage/relationship is a priority to you and SHE is a priority to you, take some time to listen to her, understand her, and validate her feelings. And ultimately, practice prioritizing what she desires from you. 



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