Feeling Like You Have to Perform for Intimacy?

​Ever feel like you have to do something just to receive something in your relationship? Like intimacy is a performance you have to perfect before you can actually be seen, loved, or cared for?
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Trust me—you’re not alone. Many people feel that way, and if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve probably felt it that way more times than you'd like to admit.

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​What Real Intimacy Actually Looks Like

Intimacy isn’t about grand gestures or sexual availability—it’s in the small, meaningful moments.

It’s the look on your face when you come home from a long day that completely kicked your ass—and your partner says,

“Babe, whew. Who do I need to lay out for you? Or better yet, why don’t you lie down and I’ll cook or order dinner tonight?”

It’s your partner holding you in the middle of the night, rubbing your back while you toss and turn because of chronic pain, menopause, or the stress of trying to figure out how to keep your family afloat.

It’s the quiet reassurance that says:

“I know abandonment has haunted you since you were little, but you’re safe with me. I’m not going anywhere. Even when it feels like I am, I’ll show up for you again and again—not just with my words, but with my actions.”
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That’s intimacy.

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We’ve Got It Backward About Intimacy

In our oversexualized culture, the moment people hear the word intimacy, they think of sex. But real intimacy is deeper—it’s about connection, closeness, vulnerability, trust, and being truly seen.

Somewhere along the way, we started believing that physical availability equals intimacy. That giving our bodies will automatically lead to emotional closeness.
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But here’s the truth: that kind of soul-stirring, grounding connection only happens when we do the inner work—when we know ourselves, love ourselves, and are willing to let another person see us, flaws and all.

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​How to Begin Reclaiming True Intimacy

I get it—showing all of yourself can be uncomfortable, messy, and even scary. But is it worth it? With a resounding hell yes, it is.

It starts with acceptance: realizing that you are a beautifully flawed human being who deserves to be seen, embraced, and loved as you are.

That doesn’t mean staying stuck. It means showing up honestly, right where you are, knowing that growth and evolution are possible.
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Because true intimacy is about more than physical connection—it’s about the willingness to be real, to grow, and to love authentically.

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Ready to Explore Real Intimacy?

If you’re ready to experience intimacy that goes beyond performance, connection that feels nourishing, and love that feels authentic, start by showing up for yourself.
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And if you want guidance along the way, I’m here to help you discover and cultivate the intimacy you truly deserve.