Emotional withdrawal can be one of the most painful dynamics in a relationship. You're trying to have a meaningful conversation—maybe to resolve conflict, share how you're feeling, or just feel closer—and suddenly, it feels like your partner has emotionally left the room.

They may go quiet. Avoid eye contact. Change the subject. Physically distance themselves. And while their body might be present, their heart and mind feel far away.

It can be lonely. Confusing. Even hurtful.
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If you’ve experienced this pattern in your relationship, you’re not alone. And while it’s hard, it’s not necessarily a sign that your partner doesn’t care. More often, emotional shutdown is a protective response—not a personal rejection.

Emotional shutdown, or what therapists often refer to as withdrawal or stonewalling, is typically a self-protective response to overwhelm. It's a coping mechanism, often formed in early life experiences where vulnerability wasn’t safe, supported, or encouraged.

People who shut down may:
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• Fear conflict or disappointing others
• Feel flooded by strong emotions they don’t know how to express
• Worry that anything they say will make things worse
• Not trust that their feelings will be understood or respected

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In many cases, they’re not trying to hurt you—they’re trying to protect themselves.

If you’re the partner on the receiving end of the shutdown, it can trigger your own feelings of rejection, abandonment, or helplessness. You may start to:
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• Raise your voice, trying to get a response
• Pursue harder, demanding emotional engagement
• Feel anxious, lonely, or resentful

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These reactions are understandable—but they often increase the divide rather than close it.
So how do you break the cycle?

1. Regulate Yourself First

It’s difficult to offer emotional safety when you’re feeling activated. Before re-engaging your partner, pause. Breathe.

Ask yourself:

     “What’s coming up for me right now? Am I responding to them—or to my own fear or frustration?”

Grounding yourself emotionally allows you to communicate in a way that invites, rather than pressures, connection.

2. Create Space Without Withdrawing Love

Let your partner know that you're open and available, even if they can’t engage right now:

   “I can see you’re feeling overwhelmed. I want to talk, but we can pause for now and come back to this when you’re ready.”

This communicates that the relationship is still safe and secure—even when there’s distance.

​3. Name the Pattern, Not the Problem

Instead of focusing on the content of the conversation (which can feel threatening), focus on what’s happening between you:

   “I notice that when we talk about difficult things, you sometimes shut down, and I tend to pursue harder. I want to work on that together.”

This shifts the focus from blame to awareness.

4. Build a Reconnection Plan

Reconnection isn’t just about talking again—it’s about restoring emotional safety. You might say:

   “Let’s check in later tonight. I want to understand what you’re feeling, but I know it might take time.”

​Agreeing on a time to revisit the conversation gives both partners a sense of structure and security.

​5. Foster Emotional Safety Over Time

If your partner shuts down often, emotional safety might be missing—or needs strengthening. Focus on:

• Using gentle tones, especially during tense moments
• Validating their experience, even when it’s different from yours
• Avoiding criticism, blame, or ultimatums

When someone feels emotionally safe, they’re more likely to open up—not shut down.

If emotional shutdown is frequent and deeply impacting your connection, consider seeking couples therapy. A therapist and/or relationship coach can help:

• Identify the emotional patterns keeping you stuck
• Strengthen your communication
• Create tools for emotional repair and reconnection

No one needs to navigate emotional shutdown alone—especially when it starts to erode intimacy, trust, or the overall health of your relationship.

​Emotional shutdown isn’t the end of connection—but it is a signal that something deeper needs attention. With patience, intention, and emotional safety, many couples can move from disconnection to understanding.

If you’re the one longing for closeness, know this: your desire for deeper connection is valid. And if your partner is the one who struggles to stay emotionally present, that doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. It means there’s space for healing.

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress. And it starts with slowing down, softening your approach, and choosing to meet each other with compassion.

Let’s be real: physical intimacy in long-term relationships is one of those things we all assume we should just “know how to do.” After all, you love each other, right? You’ve got history, inside jokes, and a shared Costco membership.

But here’s the thing—intimacy isn’t just about love or logistics. And the longer you're together, the more myths tend to creep in and mess with your expectations, your confidence, and yes, your libido.

​So let’s bust a few myths with humor, honesty, and maybe a gentle nudge to throw away whatever advice your college roommate gave you back in the early 2000s.

Oh, the spark. The thing we’re all supposed to chase forever like it’s hiding under the couch with the lost remote.

Truth: The spark doesn’t disappear, it evolves. Real intimacy deepens over time, but it needs intention. You’re not broken if you're not swinging from chandeliers every Tuesday night. (But also, if you are… I love it and absolutely no judgment.)

You know what else is spontaneous? Traffic jams. Food poisoning. That doesn’t mean it’s always a good thing.
​
Truth: Scheduled intimacy isn't boring—it's intentional. When life gets full of kids, careers, and chronic fatigue, penciling in connection doesn’t make it less sexy. It makes it more likely to happen.

Unless your partner is a licensed mind-reader with a side gig in psychic intimacy... they probably don’t know.
​
Truth: Communication is sexy. Saying “I love when you do that” or “Can we try this?” is way more effective than waiting for them to decode your sighs and side-eyes.

Nope. You’re human. Not a 24/7 vending machine of desire.
​
Truth: Low desire is common—especially in long-term relationships. Hormones shift, stress kicks in, and honestly, if you’ve been arguing about who forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer, the mood might take a little break. And that’s okay.

Let’s broaden the lens, shall we?
​
Truth: Intimacy is touch, affection, eye contact, and presence. A long hug. A hand on your back in the kitchen. A five-minute slow dance in your pajamas. Physical connection doesn’t always have to lead to “the main event.”

Remember when you learned to drive? Or tried yoga for the first time? Effort doesn’t make something less meaningful—it makes it intentional.
​
Truth: Intimacy takes effort. But when both partners are invested, effort becomes a form of love. And that is deeply attractive.

Actually, not talking about it kills the mood. Slowly. Over time. With resentment.
​
Truth: Conversations about intimacy build safety, which builds trust, which builds a stronger connection. Vulnerability is hot. So is laughing together when things feel awkward.

There’s no gold medal for “Best Long-Term Sexy Couple.” (If there is, no one invited me.) Physical intimacy is about curiosity, compassion, and evolving together. Let go of the myths, and lean into what feels real for you two.
​
And if you’re not sure where to start? Try holding hands. No really--start there.

​Which of these myths have you heard—or believed—in your own relationship? I’d love to hear what resonates with you!

​Want help rekindling that connection with humor, heart, and practical tools? Let’s work together here.

Why Self-Awareness is the Foundation of Healthy Relationships
We’ve all heard the phrase “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” But what does that really mean?
It’s not just about bubble baths, affirmations, or solo travel (though those are great too). At the heart of loving yourself is knowing yourself—and this kind of self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools you can bring into any relationship.
In this blog post, we’ll explore why self-knowledge leads to stronger connections, how it helps prevent common relationship pitfalls, and practical ways to deepen your understanding of you—so you can show up more fully for the people you love.

Self-awareness isn’t just about knowing your favorite color or Enneagram type. It’s about:
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• Understanding your emotional triggers
• Recognizing your attachment style
• Being aware of your core values and needs
• Owning your communication patterns
• Acknowledging your wounds and healing journey

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When you know yourself in these ways, you’re able to navigate conflict more gracefully, ask for what you need without guilt, and offer empathy when your partner (or friend or family member) is struggling.

  1. You Communicate Instead of Project
    When you understand your triggers, you're less likely to assume the worst about others.
    Instead of “You’re ignoring me!” you might say, “When I feel distant from you, it brings up old fears. Can we talk?”
    That shift—moving from accusation to vulnerability—is a game-changer in relationships.

2. You Know What You Actually Need
   Most conflict stems from unmet (and often unspoken) needs. When you know what makes you feel safe, loved, and         valued, you can ask for it clearly—without resentment or shame.
   And here's the bonus: you’re also more likely to honor your partner’s needs without feeling like you're losing yourself.

3. You Take Things Less Personally
    When you know your story—your wounds, your habits, your inner critic—you stop making everything about you.
    You begin to recognize that other people’s reactions say more about them than about your worth. This creates                 emotional space to stay grounded and compassionate—even during disagreements.

4. You Can Own Your Stuff (And Apologize With Grace)
    Self-awareness gives you the power to say, “You’re right—I shut down when I feel overwhelmed. I’m working on              that.”
     No defensiveness. No blame game. Just honesty, humility, and a commitment to growth.

5. You Attract (and Sustain) Healthier Relationships
    Knowing yourself helps you set better boundaries, spot red flags sooner, and avoid falling into familiar but toxic              dynamics.
    When you’re rooted in who you are, you stop chasing connection at the expense of your peace—and start building          relationships that are truly nourishing.

Let’s be real: knowing yourself isn’t always pretty. It involves facing uncomfortable truths, unlearning old patterns, and sitting with parts of you that you’d rather ignore.
But every time you choose reflection over reactivity, curiosity over shame, and growth over guilt—you’re investing in every relationship you have.
You don’t need to be perfect to love well.
You just need to be willing to learn, unlearn, and show up with intention.

Take 10 quiet minutes and journal on these prompts:

• What situations trigger strong emotions in me?
• What do I need most in close relationships?
• What beliefs about love did I absorb growing up?
• When do I feel most connected to others—and why?

These questions can open doors to deeper self-understanding—and deeper connection with others.

The more you know yourself, the more empathy, clarity, and presence you bring to your relationships. It's not about being flawless—it’s about being authentic.
So take time to meet yourself. Learn your patterns. Listen to your inner voice.
Because the best way to love others better... is to start by understanding you.

 For Parents: Supporting a Child with Social Anxiety

 If you’re a parent who sees your child struggling with social anxiety, please know: you are not alone—and neither is   your child. Below are a few tips that helped us, and may help you too.

 1. Listen Without Fixing
 
Sometimes, kids just need a safe place to vent without being told what to do. Instead of rushing in with advice, try:
 “That sounds really hard. I’m here for you. Want to talk more about it?”

 2. Validate Their Experience
 
 Don’t minimize or dismiss their feelings with “you’ll be fine” or “it’s not a big deal.” For them, it is a big deal. Saying,
 “It makes total sense that you feel anxious about that,” can go a long way.

​ 3. Practice Calm Together

     Teach and practice calming strategies before anxiety spikes. Try:

• Deep breathing (4-7-8 method)
• Body scans or grounding exercises
• Short guided meditations (apps like Smiling Mind or Headspace for Kids are great)

 4. Break Social Tasks Into Steps

     Instead of pushing them into overwhelming situations, help them build confidence slowly. For example:

• Step 1: Wave at a classmate.
• Step 2: Say “hi” once a day.
• Step 3: Ask a question during group time.

     Small victories matter.

 5. Model Healthy Self-Talk

 Let them hear you say things like:
 “I’m nervous about this meeting, but I know I can handle it.”
 
  Kids absorb how we handle discomfort and fear.

 6. Consider Professional Support
​
 Therapists who specialize in child anxiety or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be life-changing. Sometimes, just
 a few sessions help kids understand their brains and build coping tools.

​Helpful Resources
Here are some books, apps, and websites that may be helpful:

Books for Parents:
“The Opposite of Worry” by Lawrence Cohen
“Helping Your Anxious Child” by Ronald Rapee
“Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents” by Reid Wilson & Lynn Lyons

Books for Kids:
“What to Do When You Feel Too Shy” by Claire A.B. Freeland
“Hey Warrior” by Karen Young (beautifully explains anxiety to kids)
“The Huge Bag of Worries” by Virginia Ironside

Apps:
Smiling Mind (Free, mindfulness for all ages)
Headspace for Kids
MindShift CBT (especially great for tweens and teens)

Websites:
Child Mind Institute​
GoZen!

Relationships are beautiful, messy, complicated... and sometimes they feel like you're stuck in a weird emotional game of hide-and-seek. One minute, you're desperately trying to get your partner to talk to you ("We need to connect! Let’s talk about our feelings—right now!") and the next, they’re suddenly very interested in reorganizing the garage or falling into a TikTok rabbit hole.

Welcome to the classic pursuer-distancer trap, where one person becomes the emotional bloodhound and the other suddenly develops ninja-like skills for disappearing into emotional fog. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry. You’re not doomed, and no one needs to move into separate caves.

Let’s break it down—with a little humor, a lot of heart, and some coaching/therapist-approved wisdom.


What Exactly Is the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic?

Imagine this:

• One of you wants to talk, connect, figure things out.
• The other wants space, quiet, or is hoping the issue magically dissolves if they just take a nap.

That’s the dance. The more one partner pushes for connection, the more the other pulls away. The more the other pulls away, the more the first one pushes harder. And around and around you go like a carousel of unmet needs and emotional exhaustion.

And here's the kicker: both of you think you're the one trying to save the relationship. Because you are—just in wildly different ways.


Where This Pattern Comes From (Spoiler: It’s Not Just About Dirty Dishes)

This cycle is usually rooted in attachment styles and emotional survival tactics.

• The pursuer is often someone who feels anxious when connection is missing. Think: "Are we okay? Are you mad? Can we talk now? How about now?"
• The distancer is usually someone who protects their inner peace (or sanity) by avoiding potential conflict. Think: "I'm overwhelmed. If I go into the other room and pretend I'm cleaning the vacuum filter, maybe this will blow over."

These responses are learned. No one woke up one day and said, "You know what would spice things up? Avoiding my partner when they need me most!"


Why It Feels So Personal (But Probably Isn't)

Here’s the tragedy: both partners are usually hurting, but their protective instincts look like rejection to the other.

• When you chase, your partner might feel criticized and want to run.
• When they run, you feel abandoned and chase harder.

Ta-da! Now you're starring in your very own emotionally exhausting rom-com.


How to Escape the Trap (Without Smoke Bombs or Emotional Tantrums)

 1. Call It What It Is

 Naming the dynamic helps de-escalate it. Try:

• "I think we’re doing that thing again where I push and you pull away. Let’s try something different."

 It’s not blame—it’s awareness. You’re on the same team (even if it doesn’t always feel like it).

 2. Pursuers: Slow Your Role (Just a Bit)

  Take a breath before diving into deep conversation. Ask yourself: "Is now a good time for them? Am I feeling regulated
  enough to be calm if they're not ready?" Now doesn't this sound familiar? (Hint: The 3Ts: Timing, Tone, & Tact)

  Try journaling, going for a walk, or texting your therapist/coach (you know we love it).

 3. Distancers: Lean In (Just a Little)

You don’t have to share your soul all at once. But practice saying things like:

• "I need a few minutes to think, but I want to talk."
• "I hear you. I'm not sure what I feel yet, but I’m not ignoring you."

Spoiler: Pursuers don’t need a full TED Talk. They just need to know you're emotionally alive.

 4. Use "I Feel" Instead of "You Always"

• "I feel lonely when we don’t talk" > "You never listen to me!
• "I feel overwhelmed when conversations come out of nowhere" > "You’re so dramatic!"

Speaking from the heart, not the defense attorney part of your brain, invites connection.

 5. Schedule Connection (Yes, Like a Meeting)

Counterintuitive? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely. Create intentional space for hard conversations before you're in a spiral.

Have a "check-in night" where you both know what’s coming. Light a candle. Order takeout. Try not to open TikTok.


Final Thought: You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Human.

We all have protection strategies when intimacy feels scary. The key isn’t to change your wiring overnight—it’s to learn how to honor each other’s needs without triggering old wounds.

​If you recognize the pursuer-distancer cycle in your relationship, take heart. You’re not alone. And with a little insight, a lot of compassion, and maybe a few awkward-but-honest conversations, you can step out of the trap and into something much more satisfying: real, mutual, messy, beautiful connection.

Now go hug your distancer. Or text your pursuer. Or at the very least... don’t start this conversation while they’re hangry ;).

In today’s hyper-connected world, social media is often our first stop for inspiration, entertainment, and even validation. We scroll through perfectly curated posts, romantic vacations, sculpted bodies, sensual selfies, and hot takes on love, sex, and relationships. But what if I told you that this daily digital diet is subtly reshaping how we experience desire—and not always in ways that serve us?
As an intimacy coach, I’ve seen firsthand how social media can confuse, amplify, or distort the way people relate to their own wants and needs. Let’s unpack how this plays out and how you can reclaim a more grounded, authentic connection to your desire.

1. The Comparison Trap: Desire vs. Performance
One of the most powerful ways social media impacts our desires is through comparison. We’re constantly exposed to snapshots of other people’s intimacy—glimpses of “hot” relationships, sexual confidence, or sensual self-expression. Over time, we internalize these images and begin to question our own experiences.

• Why don’t I feel that confident in my body?
• Should my relationship look like that?
• Is my desire “normal”?

This is called performative desire—when we think we should want something because we see it celebrated or repeated online. But true desire is messy, nuanced, and deeply personal. If we’re always measuring it against what we see on our screens, we lose touch with our own internal compass.

2. Hyperstimulation and Numbness
Social media also delivers a near-constant stream of stimulation—images, videos, and content designed to catch your attention and trigger quick hits of dopamine. The problem? Over time, our nervous system can become desensitized, making it harder to feel arousal, excitement, or even genuine curiosity in our real-life experiences.
It’s not uncommon for people to report feeling bored, disconnected, or underwhelmed in intimate situations—even when everything on paper seems “right.” One possible reason? They’re unconsciously comparing the organic pace of human connection to the hyper-curated pace of social media.

3. Shame and Disguise
Another subtle danger: social media can reinforce unrealistic expectations about sex, attraction, and connection. When we don’t see our bodies, orientations, preferences, or relationship styles reflected in the mainstream narrative, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy or shame.
Even the #bodypositivity and #sexpositive movements, while empowering in theory, can sometimes create pressure to always be confident, horny, and empowered. If you’re not in that place, it can feel like you’re doing desire “wrong.”

4. Reclaiming Your Inner Desire Voice
So how do you tune out the noise and get back in touch with what you want? Here are a few intimacy-centered practices I recommend:

• Digital Detoxes: Take regular breaks from social media, especially from accounts that make you feel “less than” in your body, relationship, or identity.
• Desire Journaling: Spend a few minutes each day writing about what you're craving—not just sexually, but emotionally, sensually, spiritually.
• Body Awareness: Practice grounding exercises like breathwork, mindful touch, or sensual movement to reconnect with how desire feels in your body, not just in your head.
• Curate with Care: Follow creators and communities that reflect a broad, inclusive, and realistic view of intimacy and relationships.
  
  Desire is a sacred, evolving part of our humanity. Social media can be a tool for connection and discovery—but only if we stay mindful of how it’s influencing us. Ask yourself often: Is this what I truly want? Or is this what I’ve been told to want?​  Come back home to your body. Your truth. Your own definition of intimacy.

Financial intimacy refers to the level of openness, trust, and communication that couples have regarding their finances. It encompasses not only how they manage their money together but also how they discuss financial goals, handle financial disagreements, and support each other in financial matters.

Here are some ways financial intimacy can affect couples:

1. Trust and Transparency: Financial intimacy often starts with being open and honest about individual financial situations. Couples who are financially intimate are more likely to trust each other with money matters because they have transparent communication about their incomes, debts, and spending habits.

2. Shared Goals and Values: Couples with strong financial intimacy are more likely to align their financial goals and values. They discuss their long-term aspirations, such as buying a home, saving for retirement, or supporting their children's education, and work together to achieve them.

3. Conflict Resolution: Financial disagreements are common among couples, but those with high levels of financial intimacy are better equipped to handle conflicts constructively. They communicate openly about their concerns, compromise on financial decisions, and find solutions that meet both partners' needs.

4. Equal Participation: Financial intimacy involves both partners actively participating in financial decision-making and management. This can include budgeting together, sharing financial responsibilities, and making joint decisions about investments and major purchases.

5. Emotional Support: Money can be a source of stress and anxiety for many people. Couples with strong financial intimacy provide emotional support to each other during challenging financial times. They work together to find solutions, offer encouragement, and provide reassurance.

6. Financial Infidelity: Lack of financial intimacy can lead to financial infidelity, where one partner hides financial information or engages in secret spending or borrowing. This can erode trust and damage the relationship.

7. Long-Term Financial Security: Building wealth and achieving financial security requires cooperation and collaboration. Couples with high levels of financial intimacy are more likely to make sound financial decisions, save and invest wisely, and plan for the future together.

Overall, financial intimacy is crucial for building a strong and healthy relationship. It involves open communication, trust, mutual respect, and shared responsibility for financial matters. Couples who prioritize financial intimacy are better equipped to navigate the challenges and opportunities that come with managing money together.

Financial intimacy varies from couple to couple, and there isn't a universal solution that fits everyone. In your perspective, what do you think is the best approach for couples? Sharing? Dividing? Paying an allowance? Or keeping money separate? And why?

Additionally, how do you gauge the level of financial intimacy in your relationship?

Feeling unfulfilled in a relationship can stem from various factors, and it's important to explore these to understand the root cause. Here are some common reasons:

1. Communication Issues: Lack of open and honest communication can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and unmet needs.

2. Different Expectations: You and your partner might have different expectations about the relationship, such as commitment level, future plans, or emotional support.

3. Lack of Connection: Sometimes, despite being in a relationship, you may not feel emotionally connected to your partner. This can happen due to various reasons like differences in interests, values, or life goals.

4. Unresolved Conflict: Past unresolved issues or ongoing conflicts can create tension and distance in the relationship, making it hard to feel fulfilled.

5. Personal Growth: You might be feeling unfulfilled because you're not growing or evolving as an individual within the relationship. Personal growth is important, and if you feel stagnant, it can impact your overall satisfaction.

6. Mismatched Needs: Your needs for intimacy, affection, support, or other aspects of the relationship may not be met, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction.

7. External Stressors: External factors like work stress, financial worries, or family issues can spill over into your relationship and affect your fulfillment.

Reflecting on these aspects can help you pinpoint what's causing your dissatisfaction and work towards addressing it. It might also be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. If you're still struggling, don't hesitate to fill out my online questionnaire. It will allow me to offer guidance and support in navigating your relationship challenges.

The misconception that women are less interested in sex than men is false; in reality, she may be more interested and feeling sexually unfulfilled. Signs of this could include a lack of enthusiasm for intimacy, avoiding physical affection, or disinterest in trying new things in the bedroom due to emotional neglect or rejection of her desires. 

If you've become complacent in the bedroom, failing to maintain the excitement and passion that once existed, she may be feeling bored and dissatisfied with the lack of effort on your part to impress her with your sexual talents. 

Women often require more novelty and variety in the bedroom to maintain sexual interest in a long-term relationship. To reignite the spark, focus on setting the mood, creating a sensual environment, and catering to her senses to enhance the overall experience and meet her needs for sexual fulfillment.

Embark on a journey towards a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life by watching this video in order to enhance your intimate connections instantly.

So, the children have grown up and moved out, leaving you and your partner as empty nesters. With no more school runs, parent-teacher meetings, or sibling rivalries to deal with, it's time to shift your focus. However, if you haven't nurtured a strong romantic bond with your partner, it can be challenging to navigate this new phase of life. This is a common issue in relationships, so let's discuss it today.

Communication, Quality Time, and Rediscovering Each Other... Oh My!

Feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of this is completely normal, but it's okay if it feels a bit unfamiliar in the beginning. You may be accustomed to discussing things with your partner, but most of the discussions revolved around the children, causing you to overlook the importance of spending quality one-on-one time with your partner to focus on each other's interests, dislikes, and goals. It's important to improve your communication skills with your partner by discussing desires, fantasies, and concerns about intimacy. These conversations can happen at home or during activities you both enjoy, like taking a walk, cooking together, or trying out a new hobby. Sharing experiences can strengthen your relationship and intimacy.

Physical Touch and Intimacy Beyond Sex

Physical touch, such as holding hands, hugging, and kissing, can enhance intimacy and keep partners connected. It's important to remember that intimacy goes beyond just sex, so try engaging in activities that foster emotional closeness, like cuddling, having meaningful conversations, and showing appreciation for each other.

Try New Things

Take advantage of this phase in life to explore fresh experiences as a couple. From embarking on adventures to picking up new interests, or even testing out different dynamics in your relationship, trying out novel activities can help rekindle the flame between you and your partner.

Prioritize Self-Care

It's important to prioritize self-care in order to nurture intimacy in a relationship. When you're in a good place both physically and mentally, you're more inclined to connect intimately with your partner.

Enjoying intimacy during the empty nest stage can be a fulfilling and rewarding experience with the right mindset and approach. I'd love to hear from my empty nesters. What's been some of your experiences?