Building Intimacy With The Man In Your Life

Have you ever really stopped to think about all of the ways women are able to experience intimacy? Whether it's through friendships with other women, the bond that a woman may experience naturally with her children through pregnancy and/or breastfeeding, or women being able to express their emotions without necessarily being called "weak" or "soft". Now on the flip side, think about what intimacy may look like for men. I know crickets right? Society has done quite a bang-up job of not exactly promoting men to be emotional of any kind. They are taught that intimacy is just about sex and getting lots of it. But contrary to popular belief, men appreciate emotional intimacy as well. It may not always be expressed in ways in which women express it but it is still important to them. So when you think about building intimacy with the man in your life, try implementing a few things:

1. Support

Believe in your man and if you're having some challenges in this area, take an interest in what he's doing to gain a better understanding of his thought process. Sometimes simply understanding or seeking to understand him can help you support his endeavors. 

2. Initiate

Compliment your man sometimes, treat him to a nice restaurant or to an activity he enjoys sometimes, flirt with him sometimes, and initiate sex sometimes. Societal norms has conditioned men to be the pursuer in many facets of their life but when you initiate, you are showing your man you desire him as well. So many times, men are waiting for the green light from their woman when it comes to garnering her attention. When you initiate, you are granting him with the "go" signal and he's not left guessing or wondering if you desire him.

3. Hold space for him to be vulnerable

For men, vulnerability may not always show up in a plethora of emotions, but if he's telling you he's stressed about work or sharing excitement about a new hobby, that's him being vulnerable so create space for him to share that with you. And if he's done something to really upset you and he admits that he was wrong in doing or saying it, that's him expressing vulnerability too. It's okay to be angry but instead of throwing it back in his face, try to work together on finding a solution and growing through the issue. 

4. It's okay for him to say "no" sometimes

Again, for so long, the narrative in society has been that men are always ready and willing when it comes to sex. This is not always the case. Stress, health, and tiredness can be just a few things that contribute to men declining sex. Easier said than done but try not to take this personally. Obviously, if it becomes a habit, then further conversation is warranted but allow your man to exercise his right to say "no" as well without it becoming a thing.

5. Reject sex kindly

Now if it's you who isn't in the mood, try not to leave him hanging. You can express your reasons for turning down his advances, but offer an alternate time to engage with him sexually and follow through. Rejection can be hard for anyone but when you show up ready and excited next time, it can do wonders.

How do you connect with your man emotionally? Are you experiencing some challenges? Do you know how to connect with him emotionally? What are your thoughts?