​​We often think of communication as something that happens through conversation—spoken words, carefully chosen phrasing, or the silence between sentences. But one of the most powerful, honest, and revealing forms of communication happens without words at all.

​Touch is a language.

It can whisper, reassure, ignite, overwhelm, soothe, or shut down. It tells the truth even when our mouths don’t. Our bodies often speak before we’ve had the courage—or the clarity—to put our experience into words.

And for many people, the way they touch or receive touch didn’t start with their romantic relationships. It started with childhood dynamics, cultural norms, trauma histories, attachment patterns, and the stories we’ve absorbed about love and safety.
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Today, I want to invite you to explore the language of your body with the same tenderness and curiosity you’d use to learn a new dialect. Because when you understand what your touch is saying—and what it’s asking for—your intimacy expands in meaningful, grounding ways.

Touch communicates emotion.

Think about the last time someone hugged you tightly after a hard day. Or the way your partner’s hand on the small of your back can make you exhale. Touch can say:

• “I’m with you.”
• “I see you.”
• “I desire you.”
• “I need closeness.”
• “I’m offering comfort.”

It can also communicate disconnection:

• A stiff hug
• A hand withheld
• A body that pulls away when stress or shame floods in

​Emotion shows up in our bodies long before language catches up.

Touch communicates boundaries.​

Your body has a built-in truth-teller.

When something feels “too much,” your body reacts:
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• Muscles tense
• Breath shortens
• Your chest tightens
• You lean away
• You freeze

These reactions don’t mean you’re broken. They mean your internal boundary system is active and intelligent.
Touch that honors your boundaries helps you feel safe. Touch that ignores your boundaries—even unintentionally—creates withdrawal, resentment, or shutdown.

Touch communicates fear.
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Fear in the body often shows up as:
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• Flinching
• Delayed response to touch
• Hesitating before initiating contact
• Wanting closeness and distance at the same time.

​Fear doesn’t always mean “I don’t want you.”
​Sometimes it means “This level of closeness feels unfamiliar, and my body needs time.”

​Touch communicates desire.

​Desire isn’t just erotic. It’s also emotional and relational.

Your body might lean in.
You might breathe more deeply.
You relax, soften, or melt.

Desire signals longing—longing for connection, affirmation, attention, closeness, pleasure, or safety.

​When you understand how your desire speaks through your body, you create deeper intimacy with yourself and with your partner.

Every person has a unique “touch profile,” shaped by:
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• past relationships
• trauma or relational wounds
• attachment style
• cultural conditioning
• nervous system sensitivity
• pleasure preferences
• spiritual or emotional beliefs about intimacy

​This is why two people can experience the same type of touch and interpret it completely differently.

Take a few minutes to check in with your body and explore:
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1. What kind of touch feels affirming to me—and why?

• What does affirming touch feel like in my body?
• Who taught me that this type of touch means love or safety?
• Where do I feel that affirmation—chest, belly, shoulders, breath?

2. What kind of touch feels overwhelming for me—and what contributes to that feeling?

• Does overwhelming touch come from intensity? Duration? Pressure? Context?
• Is it overwhelming emotionally, physically, or both?
• What does my body do in response?

3. What kind of touch feels grounding?

• What sensations help me settle?
• Do slow, steady, consistent touches feel safest?
• Where on my body do I experience grounding most easily?

4. What kind of touch feels vulnerable—and what does that vulnerability reveal?

• Do I avoid certain types of touch when I feel insecure?
• Are there moments when I crave vulnerable touch but don’t ask for it?
• Does vulnerability feel connected or threatening?

The final step is sharing what you discover.

You deserve to feel safe, understood, and deeply considered, especially in your most intimate relationships. When you name:

• what your body responds well to
• what your body resists
• what you need during particular emotional states
• and what signals desire or fear

… you give your partner a guidebook to loving you more intentionally.

​And you give yourself permission to be known. Fully. Softly. Without apology.

If you haven’t already, download my free worksheet: 
“How Do I Actually Want to Be Touched?”
It will help you map out the exact types of touch that feel supportive, safe, intimate, grounding, sensual, playful, and emotionally attuned—for YOU.

Because intimacy grows when we stop guessing and start understanding.

Your body has a voice.
Let’s help you hear it more clearly.

Never would I have imagined that when my 4th-grade teacher, Mr. Lucas, recommended me for a writing competition, it would one day lead to me launching my fourth self-published book. He clearly saw something in me long before I even knew it myself. All I knew back then was that I loved to read, imagine, slip into the minds of others, and create stories.
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This past weekend, I experienced something truly magical. Sharing my love and gift for writing fiction has always been fulfilling, but to bring it to life in the form of a book launch—well, that’s a feeling beyond words. I am deeply thankful to everyone who participated in this journey, whether you attended in person, purchased a book, shared my work with others, or sent your well-wishes. Your support means everything to me.

This book launch was indescribable. The words that come to mind: magical, engaging, vulnerable, and such a vibe. Every detail contributed to creating an experience that perfectly reflected The More Things Change.
A heartfelt thank you to the amazing team who helped bring this vision to life:
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• Connect Gallery for providing a classy, eclectic space that aligned perfectly with the tone of the book.
• Valerie Pugh of Party Girl Events, LLC for the beautiful décor and your professionalism in bringing my vision to life.
• Dynesha with Sugar Shrine Sweets for creating the edible books on my cupcakes—it's the little details that make all the difference!
• Angela Lewis of Prestige Pour Bartending for providing bartending services and for your warm, engaging presence.
• Shauntaé Smith of Visuals by Zuria for capturing the energy and soul of the event through your incredible lens. Your gift is unmatched.
• Kim Perdue—my friend and phenomenal moderator—thank you for engaging the audience and keeping the dialogue flowing effortlessly.

To my husband, Reggie—thank you for not only providing the musical backdrop of the day but for being the anchor in my life. We ride hard for each other, always, and I love you so much.

To my kids, Ramiyah and RJ—thank you for being amazing humans, for giving me the space to write, and for sharing your own feedback and encouragement along the way. I love you two more than words can express!

To my entire family—my parents, my sister, and my extended family—I love you more than words can express. Your support and fandom mean the world to me.

To my high school friends (you know who you are!) #CurieCondors—thank you for showing up and showing out!

To my friends, colleagues, and professional network—thank you for being on this journey with me.
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And to my LEEsurereader community, both local and worldwide—I am so grateful to produce literature that you enjoy, and honored that you continue to engage with and support my work. My goal is always to give you the best.

This weekend was a beautiful reminder of why I write, create, and share my stories. From the people who attended to the team who made the event seamless, to my family and readers who cheer me on every step of the way—it was an experience I will treasure forever.
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Thank you, everyone. My heart is full. 

Missed the event? Grab your copy on Amazon here.

​In the hustle of daily life—emails, errands, and endless to-do lists—it’s easy for connection to take a backseat. We love our partners deeply, yet days can slip by without moments of true emotional intimacy. That’s where rituals of connection come in.

Rituals of connection are the intentional, recurring moments you and your partner create to nurture your emotional bond. They can be as simple as a morning kiss before work or as structured as a weekly date night. The goal isn’t extravagance—it’s consistency and meaning.
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Think of them as relationship “glue”: small, deliberate actions that remind both of you, we are a team.

Relationships thrive not on grand gestures, but on repeated signals of care and attunement. Research from the Gottman Institute shows that couples who maintain intentional rituals—like checking in daily or sharing a goodbye kiss—report higher levels of satisfaction, trust, and emotional safety.
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Rituals of connection help:

​Sometimes, one partner is more eager than the other. If your partner seems resistant, approach it gently. Instead of insisting, explore why it matters to you: “When we take time for each other, I feel closer and more grounded.” Connection rituals work best when they emerge from mutual understanding rather than obligation.

Rituals of connection aren’t about adding more to your plate—they’re about weaving intentionality into what’s already there. Every couple has a rhythm; rituals help you tune back into the music you both want to dance to.
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Start with something simple today. A shared breath, a hand squeeze, a “how are you—really?” These are the moments that build love’s foundation, one ritual at a time.