So my daughter is entering 10th grade this year and I asked her what were some of her goals for the upcoming school year. She's a theatre arts major so of course she mentioned perfecting her craft in that area, she's also a dancer so she wants to hone in more on her choreography skills, and she wants to continue to stay focused and get good grades. But one thing that stood out to me the most was when she said she wanted to gain new friendships. So of course I asked her if she felt like she was phasing out of her old friendships, she said "No, there are just quite a few people that I think are pretty cool, they seem nice, I think we would get along, and I want to get to know them." That took me back to when she was in pre-school when she was so excited about meeting new friends and would eagerly walk up to other kids and say "Hey, my name is Ramiyah! What's your name?" As a mom and a social worker, that made my heart smile because from then on, I knew that she would be alright. Even as a little girl, she valued making quality connections with others which is something I think is not only important but should be made a priority.

So here's a little secret about me, I'm so not into small talk. I'm a deep thinker, I analyze, I connect dots, I seek to understand, and I value others' perspectives. I've just never been fortunate enough to experience those things through "small talk". I enjoy the journey of meeting new people, learning what makes them happy, sad, frustrated, confused, etc. And true friendships gives me so much more leeway to explore that. A huge compliment I feel that I receive when it comes to my books is how much I highlight and dive into the friendships of my protagonists. There's a reason that friendships are prioritized in my books as well as in my life:

1. True friendships has increased my emotional intelligence. This is probably one of the most important ones for me. True authentic relationships reminds you that it is not always about you. I know we live in a very independent world and everyone wants to have their own agenda, but emotional intelligence tends to get lost when that's our primary focus. I can honestly say that there are very few people that I call "friend", but the friends that I have are all very unique within their own right. This has taught me to truly understand who each of them are individually, how and when to respond to them, which activities to engage in with them, how they best take heed to information, and what matters to them the most. I have also learned self-awareness and how to effectively express myself to them as well. Emotional intelligence is a life-long skill that can help you in any area of your life. I attribute to learning more about EI through true friendships. 

2. Quality rather than quantity. I have friends I talk to almost every other day, weekly, monthly, yearly and maybe even a few years at a time. And my true friendships typically pick up right where we left off. Time does not define what we share but the connection always remains. I remember meeting a friend once and it was seriously "friend at first site". Whenever we see each other, the love, respect, and happiness for one another is always there because we value the quality of the friendship. We encourage and praise each other's growth, we're there during the not-so-good times, and we're intentional about prioritizing our friendship. We probably speak to each other once or twice a month on average outside of social media, but our friendship is very purposeful. I know a huge contributing factor regarding how we "work" as friends is due to our emotional intelligence.

3. They allow you to be authentically you. True friends actually enjoy you being YOU. So yes, you might not agree on everything or even lead vastly different lifestyles, but you find comfort in accepting and embracing each other. When someone truly embraces you, they enjoy learning about and from you. They don't seek to tear you down or make underhanded comments regarding the choices you've made or that you're currently making. They listen to you, they offer their heartfelt opinion if asked, and they allow you to be authentically you. They don't disappear at the first sign of discomfort or a disagreement, they don't try to mold you into anyone you're not, and they celebrate you. I enjoy being this for my friends and I enjoy it when it's returned. 

As you ponder over your friendships, how important are they to you? Do you feel like you prioritize your friendships? Are your friendships shifting or have they remained the same? Do you feel like your friendships are missing anything? How satisfying are your current friendships?

I'm so excited to share that this year, I will be highlighting some AH-MAZING LEEsurereaders each month! If you're interested in being featured as a LEEsurereader of the month, complete this online form.

Now, let's kick off the first LEEsurereader of the year 2021! Ms. Nolubabalo hails all the way from Cape Town South Africa!

Angie: What are your favorite genres to read? 

Nolubabalo: Romance

Angie: What do you enjoy most about reading?

Nolubabalo: It opens up a person's mind, you learn something new every day. 

Angie: How did you find out about Angie D. Lee books?

Nolubabalo: From a friend.

Angie: What are your hobbies?​

Nolubabalo: Reading & watching romantic movies.

Angie: What's a unique talent that you possess? 

Nolubabalo: Singing

Angie: Feel free to share with Angie's audience a business that you own and/or a charity you'd like to highlight. (Feel free to include your website/link to your services and/or products).

Nolubabalo: I would like to take care of the needy be it children/orphans and elderly people. 

So Florida has some of the highest COVID-19 cases right now in the country and Disney World also decides to reopen at the same time which is definitely a little odd to me. Anyways, for those of you who are huge Disney fans but are not even thinking of heading towards the most magical place on earth any time soon, here’s a little something to get you through. I like to call this Disney After Dark...

Me: “Gaston, what I tell you about trying to get fresh with me? You know I’ll lay you owt!”
Gaston: “Whoa, calm down pretty lady. I was just trying to compliment your beautiful locs. You can put the guns away.”
Me: “Oh, Gaston, why didn’t you just say that? I just felt you trying to get a little too close that’s all. My bad.” I smiled.
Gaston: “Me? I would never.” Gaston’s voice was cracking and ish with a nervous laugh.
Me: “Wait a minute. What you doing?” I said defensively.
Gaston: “I’m just fixing your sunglasses that’s all. They got a little crooked when you tried to knock me out.”
Me: “Okay, thanks hun. I appreciate it.”
Gaston: “But is it okay for me to say, I think Black women are the most beautiful women on earth? Belle doesn’t hold a candle to you.” Gaston whispered while still adjusting my glasses.
Me: “Gaston, you think you cute.” I found myself becoming a little more comfortable with Gaston at that moment.
Gaston: “So, maybe after the fireworks tonight, I can buy you a drink?”
Me: “That’s cute and all but let’s just take this pic right quick.”
Gaston: “Well, can’t knock a brotha for trying right?” Gaston said while whispering through his teeth like a ventriloquist and posing for the pic with me.
Me: “You’re not a brotha and if you don’t get yo hand off my...”
Gaston: “I’ll catch you by the castle tonight.” Gaston cut me off while having the nerve to bite his bottom lip while looking at me!
Me: Seriously, this did not happen. But see how pics can be so deceiving? Just having a little fun with you. #beautyandthebeastspinoff #disneyafterdark #gastonsoarrogant #authorshavingfun

We have dealt with many challenges on a personal, professional as well as a global level and this time is no different. With practically every media headline reminding us of COVID-19, it has changed everything from the way we communicate, how we do business, and just our way of living. At this point, we are being forced to practice social distancing and when you combine that with frequent updates regarding how this particular disease spreads, who's been identified as infected (including celebrities), death rates and what the future holds with regards to this pandemic, it has caused huge stress and concern which is expected. 

We have been advised by medical professionals on how we can play our part in preventing the spread of this disease. With this being said, let's continue to practice patience, common sense and above all, understanding. It's okay to have questions, to be concerned and just be downright confused but in the meantime, let's try to remain calm and know that as a country and as a world, we've been through a LOT and we've survived much more. 

So I ask that you make time to take long deep breaths, keep in contact with loved ones via phone, email, and/or social media, pray and/or send love and light to vulnerable populations and if you feel led to send someone a monetary donation or even a heartfelt letter, do it. It's okay to go back to the basics. We'll get through this, we just have to be patient and do what we can in our capacity to help ourselves and others.  Peace!

I was going through my phone a minute ago just looking through all of the pictures I've taken this year and I became overwhelmed because I truly have so much to be thankful for. Many times, we gauge the success of our lives based on the goals we've set that we haven't met, or what we currently possess, or how many friends we think we should have, or what our bank account reads at this very moment and just a host of different things. But I employ you to really sit back and even make a list of the everyday things you might take for granted like even the ability to read this blog entry. Obviously, you can see and you have internet access in order to connect with the outside world. It's truly the culmination of the little things that means so much. So with that being said, I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and please enjoy this 50% off sale of Discovering Lita on me!

 So when I look at this picture, I see past hurt, fear, confusion and injustice but when I also look at this picture, I see purpose, happiness, resilience, and most of all, love. This my friends, is King Korey Wise, one of the Exonerated Five of the infamous case of the Central Park Five.

Due to filmmaker, Ava DuVernay and her ever so timely creation of When They See Us, this previous case has received much recent attention. I was almost seven years old when this case hit the news of one Latino male and four African-American males in New York City who were falsely accused of assaulting and raping a 28-year old white woman by the name of Trisha Melli in 1989. I learned more about this case during my college years when Matias Reyes (a convicted murderer and serial rapist) admitted to committing the crime in 2001 but due to the statute of limitations passing, charges could not be brought against him. Eventually, the five young men were exonerated but what really hurts about this case, is not only were they wrongly accused and convicted of a crime they did not commit, but they were manipulated into a confession without proper representation at the tender ages of 14 through 16. The oldest of the five young men was Korey Wise who was tried and sentenced as an adult and served 13 years in an adult prison. 

Fast forward to yesterday, July 25, 2019, I log in to my email account in the morning and I see that Korey Wise is going to be in Chicago speaking at a screening of the first episode of When They See Us. I'll be honest, I was hesitant to attend at first because I have literally avoided watching this mini series for various reasons. First, watching ANY kind of injustice inflicted upon black and brown people just hurts. It hurts like hell. I don't know any other way to express that but through anger and tears and the residue of the visual and audio of it all takes much debriefing on my part. But I'm also a social worker who has worked in the fields of domestic violence, child welfare and school social work for the past 15 years so detaching is practically imperative in order for me to stay sane. I'm typically a very chill and zen kind of person, but when it comes to the welfare of children and adolescents, I can literally turn into an advocacy beast at any sign of abuse and neglect and to say the Exonerated Five were abused is an understatement. So hopefully this paints a picture for you as to why I was a little reluctant about this whole experience.

I watched that first episode and the entire time, my foot was tapping incessantly because of the anger and outrage that was boiling inside of me. I felt the beast beginning to rise but I practiced calming techniques in order to get through it. And as the first episiode comes to a close with Korey Wise (played by the amazingly talented Jharrel Jerome) being escorted to a police car, here comes the real Korey Wise walking in at that very scene and my first thought was how? How does he literally see himself on screen watching the moment that changed his life forever? It took me back to when I first became an intern with the Department of Children and Family Services and the many cases of abused and neglected children who had no one to advocate for them and then I see Korey; a once scared and vulnerable child himself who is now standing here in the flesh, thirty years later.  

Korey spoke and he answered questions. His speech was monotone and a bit throaty; a tad bit slurred but it's a result of a slight hearing impairment since childhood. He's rough around the edges, he talks like a person who's been to hell and back because he has, literally. But he's also childlike and there's an innocence that is instantly recognizable behind those light brown eyes. He's not really into the limelight. He's still a resident of NYC and only makes minimal celebrity appearances for promotional purposes of the film but he spends a lot of his time as a public speaker and criminal justice activist. When asked questions, his responses are a bit convoluted but very easy to follow with your heart. His words reside in that safe space and even though it hurts, he's restored.

His birthday is today and we celebrated with him yesterday. He was given gifts, mainly gym shoes (or should I say sneakers as the native New Yorkers say), we ate pizza and listened to a whole lot of Biggie, lol. But he's restored.

I thank God for your life Mr. Korey Wise. You haven't checked out. You're not just existing but you're living. You're an amazing spirit who's endured a lot through your human experience but you're here and you're present. I'm not sure anyone could ever express enough gratitude for that. I guess the main thing we can do is just witness your growth and be in the present moment with you now.  Happy birthday Korey!
​

My husband and I were having a conversation the other day that made us contemplate our upbringing and he said, "No matter how we look at it, most things stems from childhood." And to a large degree, I think he's right. Whether positive or negative, our first teacher are our parents. In their presence or absence, they teach us advertently and/or inadvertently. And as I reflect upon my childhood and this year's PRIDE Month, I can't help but have a sense of gratitude and here's why:

​I grew up in a Christian environment, Church of God In Christ to be exact. The consistent message that was taught in church was that homosexuality was an abomination. As a child, I wasn't really exposed to anyone in the LGBTQ community that I was aware of but something still felt off about being taught that kind of hate towards anyone. Also, even though my parents were of the Christian faith, I never once heard them refer to anyone in the homosexual community by a derogatory name whether seriously or jokingly. I didn't even sense they were just "tolerating" homosexuality. I just felt like I always witnessed unconditional love in that respect when it came to my own household. My maternal grandmother was also a devout Christian who spoke of the Ten Commandments often but she always stressed how keeping all of the Commandments meant nothing if you did not have TRUE love for your fellow neighbor. I always took that to heart. Now as a family, we had our fair share of problems that I've had to work through in order to face my internal struggles and become a confident and thriving adult, but I can honestly say that a disdain for the gay and lesbian community was something I did not witness. And I really, REALLY appreciate that now more than ever. 

As I'd gotten older, my associates and friends became more diverse as this included gay and lesbian friends. And with social work being my profession, this too blessed me with experiences like no other which ultimately lead me to fully embracing my LGTBQ brothers and sisters even though I was a straight woman. And honestly, it all stems from childhood like my husband said. To love someone fully even though our choices of who and how we love may be different, was very easy for me because I did not witness that kind of hate and unacceptance from the beginning. And when I sit back and observe my own children and how they fully embrace others as well, they are literally mirroring what they are taught at home. But think about if we all made a conscious decision to just embrace and love each other unconditionally, no strings attached, no matter your background, choices, and/or current lifestyle... whew, I just had a mental picture of the beauty in that and how it would cause a ripple affect in future generations. Wow.... that truly left me speechless as that would be a direct reflection of when love truly prevails.